Friday, 1 July 2016

The Last Leaf



It is the third day of autumn and June is at the window watching, waiting.


It has a big brown trunk with yellow, orange, red and brown swirling all around it.


But what is that? There is something on the brown arm that sticks out of the trunk.


It’s a mixture of red, orange and yellow dark to light. June sits silently watching waiting.


The leaf falls swirling, twirling and drifting away in the dawn of broad daylight.  

Lucy

13 comments:

  1. Hi Lucy
    I really liked your poem, it was lovely.
    I like the way you used colours to describe autumn.
    From Keisha

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Lucy it is Tom Price primary school
    I loved your poem.
    I loved the way you made the poem it sounded great
    from tpps

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love how you used your words witch made me fell as if it was happing around me.
    I also like how you used lots of descriptive langue.
    Lucia from Bayfield primary school.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow! What an amazing poem. I really liked how you described Autumn with all of your descriptive language. Your poem was really personalised, very creative and it really hooked me in. A question that I have for you is what made you want to write a Autumn poem? Thanks for sharing it on your blog.
    Zara from Bayfield.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Lucy,

    I really like your poem. I love the way you used the colours to describe autumn and the things that were happening. My favorite sentence was:

    “The leaf falls swirling, twirling and drifting away in the dawn of broad daylight.”

    I liked it because it had lots of descriptive words.

    From Sonia
    ( http://rangikura-sb-sonia.blogspot.co.nz/ )

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Te Kaho 3

    I really like your last leaf story. it was very descriptive and was very colourful! I hope you do more of these types of posts because they are really wonderful.

    From
    Daisy
    Rangikura school
    http://rangikura-sb-daisy.blogspot.co.nz/

    ReplyDelete
  7. I loved your alliteration Lucy it gave your beautiful piece of writing character.
    Your descriptions were really nice and I liked the part about the trunk.
    I loved your title
    Next time add an onomatopoeia
    From Kate
    Bayfield school

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi Lucy I’m Mya and I loved your poem ,
    I liked the way you described how the leaf was falling, swirling, twirling and drifting away because it was really descriptive.

    Kind Regards
    Mya
    http://rangikura-sb-mya.blogspot.co.nz/

    ReplyDelete

  9. Hi Lucy, my name is Benjamin.

    I think your writing was magnificent, my favorite part of the story was when you said “June sits silently watching waiting." I think your story was positive and particularly mind blowing.

    Have a nice day


    Kind regards
    Benjamin
    http://rangikura-cb-room10.blogspot.co.nz/
    http://rangikura-sb-benjamin.blogspot.co.nz/



    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi my name is Va’aitino.

    I like it when you said. It has a big brown trunk with yellow, orange, red and brown swirling all around. And that means that you are telling me what is happening in your poem. I like the way you used colours to describe autumn.

    Kind regards
    Va’aitino
    http://rangikura-sb-vaaitino.blogspot.co.nz/

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi Lucy your poem is really fantastic and it is creative and very intresting Good job.

    From Andrew Room 15 Hero Headquarters

    ReplyDelete
  12. Kia ora Lucy, my name is Jipsy. I am writing this because I really, really thought that poem that you made is lovely as you! I think that you have a really cool brain in there that is going to share your writing knowledge. Keep it up!!

    Kind regards
    Jipsy

    http://rangikura-sb-jipsy.blogspot.co.nz/p/my-personal-writing.html


    ReplyDelete
  13. Wow good job that is really detailed I did a autumn poem in my poem class and that is way better then all of ours
    Alex
    Bayfield

    ReplyDelete